...That's. Actually a really good way to look at it. He knows I care. He knows I think he's the most important person- he said that's why he said it, because of how I felt. So- I guess you're right.
[He listens, thinking it over. He doesn't want to put distance between himself and people anymore. He used to do that for a long time as well. ]
He's all of those things, yeah. Of course. Probably even a hell of lot more than I am.
Love might make people a bit more foolish, but I don't believe it actually makes them stupid.
So, then, I think the risk that you or I have to take is trusting people when they decide they want to take the risk on us, even if we don't agree. Of course putting it in simpler terms does not actually make it easier, but... it's his choice. He has weighed up all he knows about you, and he has decided it is worth the risk. You, or I in your shoes, do not have to agree, or love him back yet, or even stay forever if it turns out not to serve either of you. You just have to trust him to make the decision.
I dunno about that. Made me pretty stupid every once in a while.
[He huffs a soft laugh. But that's not here or now. Here and now- he has something he actually wants.]
Trust him to make that decision... okay. That's... an incredibly helpful way to look at it. I want it to be his choice. And it is- even if I don't fully agree with it.
[Look, he's gonna have heart eyes right now- in a totally no hetero way.]
You're amazing. And yeah.... we've had a lot worse problems, but I'm trying not to think of it that way. I don't want to drag all of that into this. I just want- a normal thing. That's ok too, right?
Of course that's okay. You're right. It's better not to drag all of that in. I really just meant that I'm glad to help work out a mental tangle like this, rather than... other things. It's nice.
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[He listens, thinking it over. He doesn't want to put distance between himself and people anymore. He used to do that for a long time as well. ]
He's all of those things, yeah. Of course. Probably even a hell of lot more than I am.
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And you trust him?
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I do trust him.
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So, then, I think the risk that you or I have to take is trusting people when they decide they want to take the risk on us, even if we don't agree. Of course putting it in simpler terms does not actually make it easier, but... it's his choice. He has weighed up all he knows about you, and he has decided it is worth the risk. You, or I in your shoes, do not have to agree, or love him back yet, or even stay forever if it turns out not to serve either of you. You just have to trust him to make the decision.
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[He huffs a soft laugh. But that's not here or now. Here and now- he has something he actually wants.]
Trust him to make that decision... okay. That's... an incredibly helpful way to look at it. I want it to be his choice. And it is- even if I don't fully agree with it.
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It's the only way I can convince myself I should not go live in a cave for the rest of my life, on the bad days.
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[But it's okay, he gets it.]
I think you're right about a lot of it, though. Like in a way I don't think I would've gotten to on my own. I think maybe I can stop freaking out now.
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I'm glad to be able to help. And I'm glad, you know - stressful and heavy as it is, we have had worse problems, yes?
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[Look, he's gonna have heart eyes right now- in a totally no hetero way.]
You're amazing. And yeah.... we've had a lot worse problems, but I'm trying not to think of it that way. I don't want to drag all of that into this. I just want- a normal thing. That's ok too, right?
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Thank you. I really appreciate you helping me out with this stuff.