01/01/25 | new year's resolution | I do not understand why people actually tell other people their resolutions. Last year I went with eat more potatoes and don't get caught, very successful, so I will just do that again.
01/03/25 | tfln | if you say that to me again, I am going to bite you.
03/21/25 | tfln | I looked away for 30 seconds. Where have you gone?
03/28/25 | tfln | Take the day off from being the bigger person and choose violence. I will bail you out if need be. Or break you out. One way or another.
03/28/25 | tfln | Crime Junkie just did a podcast episode on me. That's it, I've sunk to a new low.
04/05/25 | tfln | There may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check.
04/19/25 | tfln | The police scanner is talking about you again....
01/03/25 | tfln | These six days between Christmas and New Year's is the only time of year you should strive to do absolutely fucking nothing. Make zero progress. Take all the time off. Go on vacation from your vacation. Be the least impressive version of yourself. Transform into a couch
01/07/25 | starter call | "You know, personally, I think it is very rude that I show up with gifts and entertainment -" gifts here being a selection of possibly more fancy-than-good liquors and entertainment being a singular pack of cards "- and get all these questions about where and who it came from and why I have it, but no, it was not obtained during work."
02/14/25 | tfln | Text back anything to prove you're still alive xxx
02/28/25 | tfln | I am not arguing about the zombie apocalypse with you again.
03/16/25 | nonsexual intimacy | It isn't an intimacy, exactly. It also isn't a casualness, exactly, although that's a bit closer to the sensation. If he had to put a finger on it, it's almost a wearing down, like a river biting slowly deeper into its own craggy banks, broader and smoother with time.
01/10/25 | tfln | I am one small inconvenience away from supervillainy.
01/17/25 | tfln | bar fights can be a hobby. yes, fine, it might be cause for concern if it were a FREQUENT hobby, but it is for special occasions, so it's fine.
01/14/25 | affectionate physical contact | Hey. She texted after staring at her phone for what felt like a millennia What are you up to this weekend? I was thinking about maybe catching a local band at our favorite spot, you wanna tag along? It wasn't what she wanted to say but, maybe it was better she do it in person?
01/18/25 | tfln | dig the hole two feet deeper than you think you need to.
02/07/25 | tfln | I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his girlfriend and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment eating ice cream
02/27/25 | relationship status | absolutely no one's business except my own. [no one stopped her from defacing her button, what can she say?]
02/19/25 | insomnia | She stared at the ceiling for a while then wandered the halls before finally ending up in a corridor designated for a 'team' with no name yet. Or maybe they had a name and she didn't remember what it was. Picking a door at random, knocked, twice and waited.
02/23/25 | gen texts | apparently I'm getting scouted by avengers-adjacent people these days thoughts? ideas? sabotage plans?
03/11/25 | sexting | I just wish she'd call me 'good girl' and then take me to bed
03/13/25 | shippy texts | 24 hours. [Attached is a picture of Yelena in a (dwindling) bubble bath. The most scandalous bits are covered, just, by the bubbles, but there is still a lot of bare skin, tinged pink from the hot water, on display.]
03/22/25 | smutty picture prompts | Yelena may have never been so eager for a job to end in her life.
04/04/25 | tfln | Did you... happen to find a small, discreet looking remote........ asking for a friend.
02/26/25 | insomnia | She's up and about in the kitchen, putting away dishes, waiting for the water to boil for her tea. She's wearing her soft blue pajamas from christmas, hair twisted back in a bun that's trying to escape, the very image of ready for bed.
03/22/25 | tfln | They gave you narcotics, didn’t they?
03/22/25 | tfln | she asked for my star sign and started trying to build some sort of elaborate psychological profile based on alignments. is this a red flag?
03/24/25 | gen texts | What did you say to Alexei? He is making even less sense than usual trying to explain it.
03/28/25 | tfln | no. no, no, no. that was a threat.
03/28/25 | tfln | yes, it's taskmaster's sword. no, i'm not giving it back. finders keepers.
04/06/25 | tfln | Alternatively, I could just disappear forever, which is sounding more and more like the best plan with every passing second.
04/09/25 | what's your type | Women that are difficult and make my life more difficult.
04/11/25 | tfln | I am not nearly sober enough to have this conversation with you right now.
04/19/25 | tfln | Found your shirt before I could see any of mine, so I'm wearing it.
04/20/25 | horny confessions | You know that move where you wrap your thighs around some pathetic man's neck to take them down...?
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