07/16/21 | tfln | What is edible cookie dough? Isn't all cookie dough edible? If not, what is it?
07/23/21 | tfln | I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. Not saying that to guilt you, just saying that because you never do.
07/16/21 | tfln | I know what you're thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
08/13/21 | tfln | why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
12/03/21 | tfln | woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch
12/17/21 | tfln | umm okay i'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
09/03/21 | tfln | returning from an ops with a brand-new dog in tow while nursing three broken ribs has been an experience. not sure i want a repeat, though.
12/03/21 | tfln | i got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, i dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
12/17/21 | tfln | i always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30
12/24/21 | tfln | hey when you wake up search yourself on youtube
12/31/21 | tfln | I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
12/31/21 | tfln | i don't know where i am but the food in the fridge is awesome
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